Friday, February 3, 2017

DIS QUALIFIED



This couch was her sanctuary.

Her sanctuary of death.
Rachel watched several vlogs by her favorite Youtubers about 'the spirit of condemnation' and that 'Jesus does not remember your past'... her search engine was filled with 'Jesus cleanses your past'.

But all she heard was, "if they really knew your past, no one will follow your ministry. If they really knew what you played when you were a child, all those 'house' games and 'sex games', yeah, I said it Rachel, I know....If they knew.. and they will because you will get EXPOSED for the fraud you are...."

The torment was so heavy on her. She wanted a way out. The blood of Jesus seemed powerless to her.. All she felt was her shame... shame...shamee.. shamee..

Rachel fell from the couch and and clenched her stomach... LORD HELP ME! My past is tooo dirty.. Why didn't you save me? Why didn't I grow up like everyone else? Why didn't I have a normal child hood? Why did you let them touch me? Why did you let me touch them? Why didn't you protect me... I feel so dirty....!!"

I don't deserve for you to use me...

I mean that blogger, she has a past...but it's not like mine! It's like light... You know lying, rebellion...not having 'play sex' as a child... What if I'm fond out?!

I'm so angry.. Lord... Lord Help!

Rachel is throwing pillows.. The vlogger on her Iphone is still teaching... but her cries are drowning it out... 
Her life is so perfect...!! what does she know about condemnation?.. I'm not worthy of your grace...I'm tooo dirty... I'm a fake.. Why did you let that happen to me? I can't preach this Gospel..what if someone from my past exposes me... calls me perverted...says I'm dirty...

SHE DOESN'T KNOW! THIS VLOGGER HAS NO IDEA! SHE DIDN'T GO THROUGH ANYTHING AS A CHILD! 

The darkness on her is sickness... It's more than just fear...it's a demon ...the darkness is upon her.. She feels the dark presence.. suffocating her.. The demon of condemnation..

JESUS I'M TIRED OF THIS! HELP ME! WHY DID YOU CHOSE ME?!... JUST LET ME DIE..I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!!

This has been her specific warfare...Rachel's direct warfare all her life...but this year, it has intensified so much...because the great calling on her life... Those demons in her childhood knew her calling then...that's why they attacked her... and NOW.. 

Face down in the carpet...the tears are soaking the carpet below her.. her hands her clenching the carpet, so much that some of it is coming up in her fingers... The darkness is pounding her... The spirit of suicide is luring her.. 

Just end it all.. don't be a fraud..Just end it all...Or better yet...Go back out in sexual sin...it makes so much sense..  
she was disgusted at herself... I mean she was ministering to people, God was using her mightily...But always at the back of her mind... "what if they find me out ... My past... Then nobody would like me.. They would be disgusted at me too.."

Rachel mustered up every once of strength she could find and dragged herself to the bathroom... she slowly picked herself up... She looked at herself in the mirror..

She looked at her reflection... and punched the mirror.. the blood dripping from her hands..she wailed out in pain, not so much from physical pain just the torment of her soul... She drenched down into a crouch on the bathroom floor..

"Why must you shed your blood...? I already  shed my blood for you Rachel... On the Cross.. Stop believing the lies.. Your past is behind you. I chose you. I chose you then. I choose you now. I allowed you to go through that childhood for my glory. To set others free. Get up. GET UP! GET UP! You will NOT go around this same mountain this year again. BIND THE SPIRIT OF CONDEMNATION IN MY HOLY NAME ! GET UP! DO WHAT I'VE COMMISSIONED YOU TO DO! GET UP ! GET UP ! GET UP! IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. OTHER'S ARE THIRSTING FOR YOUR TESTIMONY! "

Just then...Rachel had hope.. She always had it...Now she just had to believe it...Truly..and Walk in it.

"Therefore there is now no CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2

*****************************************************************
Lord Jesus, Thank you for using me as your vessel. Lord allow me to be meek, humble and lowly. Rid me completley of myself. My very life is yours. My every breath is yours.. Thank you for givng me boldness, forgive me for not walking in full boldness daily to others, but I want to, I want more of you Lord. Lord thank you for freeing me from the demon of condemnation. Forgive us for taking our eyes off the cross. The finished work of the cross. Lord Help us to keep our eyes on YOU and only YOU! Lord we bind the demon of condenation from our lies, yes our lies and lives. we give you those lies. We cast them out. Lord in our weakness YOU ARE MADE STRONG. May we not stay at the alter of death...but LIFT US UP TO YOUR HOLY SANCTUARY! Breath into us right now your breath of life. Thank you for allowing me for overcoming this by YOUR POWER so I can minister to others! SET THEM FREE! LIKE YOU SET ME FREE LORD! MAY WE BELIEVE ONLY YOUR TRUTH! MAY YOUR TRUTH BE THE ONLY THING THAT PREVAILS! MAY WE LAY BEFORE YOUR HOLY THRONE AND TRUST YOU...AND ONLY YOU.. OUR PAST IS COVERED IN THE BLOOD! WE OVERCOME BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB AND THE WORD OF OUR TESTIMONY! THERE WILL BE NO SHAME IN OUR PAST BUT GLORY IN OUR TESTIMONY AS WE SHARE TO DELIVER OTHERS AND SHOW YOUR REDEMPTIVE POWER. YOU ARE SO HOLY AND PERFECT. THAT YOU THOUGHT SO MUCH OF ME TO USE ME, SO MUCH OF US TO SAVE US FROM OURSELVES AND DEMONIC POWERS, HOW YOU LAVISH US WITH YOUR LOVE THAT YOU THOUGHT SO MUCH TO SET US FREE! THANK YOU FOR SETTING US FREE, SETTING MY FAMILY FREE, SETTING OUR FAMILIES FREE! YOU ARE SO MERCIFUL, SO PERFECT! MAY WE NEVER SHUT OUR MOUTHS ON YOUR GOODNESS! PENETRATE US! MORE OF YOU LORD! WE NEED MORE OF YOU, LIKE PASTOR TAMARA BENNETT SUNG..LORD WE NEED MORE OF YOU...SO MUCH MORE..NO SHAME...JESUS...MORE OF YOU...NO SHAME NO SHAMEEE! May we not grovel in the warfare but fight back with your mighty power, may we recognize that it's the enemy who is threatened by us, that we are powerful in The Kingdom of God. Cover us in your blood. May we accept this truth. Lord cover this blog post with your Blood Lord and may it reach and touch the hearts of all whom you've ordained to reach. Lord cover the readers, and cover me as I minister this word as your vessel. I pray for you to strengthen my Parents, Prophet Arnold Dickson and Naomi Dickson as the leaders of Last Call Ministries..thank you for their heart for your people Lord.. strengthen them. Thank you so much for choosing us Lord to do your work...Thank you for the family you gave me. I love you Lord. May the readers and I go to a new dimension in You Jesus! 

Your dear Daughter, 
Stacie Cherill Dickson

Thank you so much for reading, May God grant you a peaceful night in Him. 


No comments:

Post a Comment