Saturday, April 22, 2017

Welcome In.



Her Pink Nike's were laced up.
She was ready.
The wet grass was beneath her feet. The night was beginning to fall.
Overwhelmed. overwhelmed.
She needed out.
She knew how.
School was horrible.
Her boyfriend of 3 years was cheating on her...with her cousin...
talk about heartbreak.

She just realized she had to take her exit exams again. She failed the math portion, for the 5th time.
Her parents had all these expectations of her going to med school at Baylor, like her cousin, you know that one cousin who her boyfriend is cheating on her with.
She runs through the park.
She runs through the shrubbery.
She runs off the trail and on to the secret place that only her and God knew about.
The sunflowers were blooming all round her.
The sunset was exquisite.
She was running through them at such a face past.
Her Nike's her mom got her for her 17th birthday last year were really motivating her to run faster.
God I need you. I need you. God where are you?
Her heart is beating so fast. A mix between the adrenaline and the pain of rejection.
She runs past the hills, over the waterfall, the view is breathtaking, but she had to get there.
She needed a release. She needed to get away from it all.
Her breath was so heavy.
How could he chose her? What are my parents going to think when they realized I failed again? Why is my cousin April so perfect?
She runs as if into the sunset. Faster. Faster. Faster. 
Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster.
She wanted to melt away. She wanted to end it all. At least numb this pain she felt.
She always heard that she wasn't good enough. Although those words were never directly said to her, they were always screamed at her indirectly.
She wanted to be free like the sunflowers. How they could just look up to the sky and be free. Free from care, from life, from exit exams, from math, from cheating ex boyfriends, from perfect cousins who all your family compares you to, she just wanted to be free to be her.
To not be rejected for once.
To not have to be this image of someone who someone else tried to make her to be.

Just Wannna be 
FREEEEEEEEEE!!!

And there she sees it. The beautiful lake that is reflecting the pink and purple of the sunset. She sat time and time in front of it before. Staring at it, but she never touched it. Just like her Bible. 

But now she had the sudden urge to jump in.

JUMP IN MY DAUGHTER.
JUMP IN.
STOP SITTING ON THE SIDELINES WANTING TO BE FREE.
FREEDOM IS HERE!
JUMP IN!
JUMP IN!
SALVATION IS FOR YOU!
YOU ARE FREE TO BE WHO I'VE CALLED YOU TO BE.
PRECIOUS AND ADORED...TRUTHFULLY FREE!

She knew the sound of that voice.
It was HIM.
She heard it time and time before when she was running. He always told her to jump in, but she just couldn't let go of the pain, how could she Trust Him, when she couldn't even trust the people who she could see?

You touched a sunflower.
You have touched Me.

Slowly she took her left shoe off.
Then her right.
Then her jacket.
I can trust You right?
She took her Iphone out her pocket.
She let her hair down.
Jesus, I need you NOW. Please don't let me down.
With one leap of faith.
She ran as fast as she could.
She jumped into the water.
And felt His loving arms grip her so tightly.
The water was cold, then warm.
So soothing.
Her hair was melting in the water, and so was her cares.
She laid on her back, and splashed her toes in the water.
She laughed and laughed and laughed.
A turtle even swam by her; her favorite animal.
She flipped over to look at the beautiful sunset. Cascading her brown skin with purples and pinks and oranges.
Tattooed in His Love. Painted in His Annonitng.

I've always been There. I've always been there. Welcome In. 

Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
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