Saturday, April 22, 2017

Welcome In.

Her Pink Nike's were laced up.
She was ready.
The wet grass was beneath her feet. The night was beginning to fall.
Overwhelmed. overwhelmed.
She needed out.
She knew how.
School was horrible.
Her boyfriend of 3 years was cheating on her...with her cousin...
talk about heartbreak.

She just realized she had to take her exit exams again. She failed the math portion, for the 5th time.
Her parents had all these expectations of her going to med school at Baylor, like her cousin, you know that one cousin who her boyfriend is cheating on her with.
She runs through the park.
She runs through the shrubbery.
She runs off the trail and on to the secret place that only her and God knew about.
The sunflowers were blooming all round her.
The sunset was exquisite.
She was running through them at such a face past.
Her Nike's her mom got her for her 17th birthday last year were really motivating her to run faster.
God I need you. I need you. God where are you?
Her heart is beating so fast. A mix between the adrenaline and the pain of rejection.
She runs past the hills, over the waterfall, the view is breathtaking, but she had to get there.
She needed a release. She needed to get away from it all.
Her breath was so heavy.
How could he chose her? What are my parents going to think when they realized I failed again? Why is my cousin April so perfect?
She runs as if into the sunset. Faster. Faster. Faster. 
Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster. Faster.
She wanted to melt away. She wanted to end it all. At least numb this pain she felt.
She always heard that she wasn't good enough. Although those words were never directly said to her, they were always screamed at her indirectly.
She wanted to be free like the sunflowers. How they could just look up to the sky and be free. Free from care, from life, from exit exams, from math, from cheating ex boyfriends, from perfect cousins who all your family compares you to, she just wanted to be free to be her.
To not be rejected for once.
To not have to be this image of someone who someone else tried to make her to be.

Just Wannna be 

And there she sees it. The beautiful lake that is reflecting the pink and purple of the sunset. She sat time and time in front of it before. Staring at it, but she never touched it. Just like her Bible. 

But now she had the sudden urge to jump in.


She knew the sound of that voice.
It was HIM.
She heard it time and time before when she was running. He always told her to jump in, but she just couldn't let go of the pain, how could she Trust Him, when she couldn't even trust the people who she could see?

You touched a sunflower.
You have touched Me.

Slowly she took her left shoe off.
Then her right.
Then her jacket.
I can trust You right?
She took her Iphone out her pocket.
She let her hair down.
Jesus, I need you NOW. Please don't let me down.
With one leap of faith.
She ran as fast as she could.
She jumped into the water.
And felt His loving arms grip her so tightly.
The water was cold, then warm.
So soothing.
Her hair was melting in the water, and so was her cares.
She laid on her back, and splashed her toes in the water.
She laughed and laughed and laughed.
A turtle even swam by her; her favorite animal.
She flipped over to look at the beautiful sunset. Cascading her brown skin with purples and pinks and oranges.
Tattooed in His Love. Painted in His Annonitng.

I've always been There. I've always been there. Welcome In. 

Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
May we continue to run to you. May we not just look in from the sidelines, but may we just jump in fully and accept Your perfect Love. Your perfect Love that casts out all fear! I also wanna say how awesome You are, I'm at the library sitting in the back corner, and I heard my dad come in, And he is at the computers looking at Ministering to child in Christ right now on the phone. (He hasn't seen me yet) That's just so awesome How are Spirits are one, Father/daughter in The Spirit. Thank you so much Abba for saving My Daddy, saving me for the ministry, Also giving me another chance to know the Love of a Father. Thank you for loving me even in the time of His absence. It's so awesome and beautiful how He's been working hard all day, and is still working for your kingdom listening and loving a little one right on the phone. Opening his home up to our fellow Brother in Christ, opening up his home for church, THIS IS THE GOSPEL. THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE I HAVE OF THIS! I love you so much Abba. Mend what is broken. Heal every sore spot. Be are Love and and Peace. Thank you for my mom, still feasting on Your Word, still folding the clothes serving our family, days after getting a mass taking out of her, YOU ARE AWESOME THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVANT'S HEART. THANK YOU FOR ROLAND, THANK YOU FOR PASTOR HILL MINISTERING TO ME TODAY AND BUYING ME ANIMAL CRACKERS! Thank you Abba for allowing me to use my gift of writing for YOUR GLORY ALONE. I love you so much Abba.
Mend right now.
Mend our broken hearts.
Give us new hearts. 
Lord, give us new, and pure heart's Abba.
We need you like never before.
I NEED YOU Like Never Before .
Thank you that I know The Sound of your Voice. Thank you for Apostle Kelvin Hall preaching that Lord.
Thank you for your goodness and your everlasting Kindess.
I Adore you Abba.
I'm forever Yours. 
Thank you for answering My Cry last night and holding me even when I cried out to you and asked you "WHY" 
Thank you for asnwering me.
Thank you for blanketing me in your love.
And saturating me in your peace.
Blanket my family and these readers, these little ones in Your Love right Now Abba.
Saturate my family and the one reading this in Your Perfect Peace
Right Now Abba.
Thank you for Your Blood.
Thank you for being my safe haven.
I adore you Abba.
Thank you for adoring us.
Thank you for adoring my mom and dad.
Thank you for adoring Roland.
Thank you for adoring me.

I love you forever Abba,
Dance with me always,
twirl me in your love,
All for The Homecoming,
Stacie Cherill Dickson

Let me not grow weary in the days. But To Count All On and In You.
In Your Precious and Mighty and Holy Name.

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